Dear Reader,

I’m baffled by a behaviour I see acted by others and, more worrisome for me, by myself as well.

The script goes like this:

  • A question is asked.
  • A reply is given.
  • The asker act as if the reply was never given, often in complete opposition to what the answer should suggest.

I could write example dialogues, but it is more instructive to look out for real instances: they are more common than you might expect.

What is it that makes us act in complete denial of the answer? I think the two main possibilities, among many others, are:

  • We asked, thinking we knew the answer and were just searching for confirmation. The probability of listening to the answer decreases: humans don’t like surprises, we are not used to actively looking for them
  • We asked without caring about the answer, or we were distracted and merely speaking out loud.

In both cases, we are not showing great respect to the person we are questioning, nor to the subject being asked, nor to our knowledge as well, in suborder.

Until next time, I hope to be more deliberate in my questioning.